O great and mighty warrior! You who have bested the beast Slain the serpent Beheaded the behemoth And exhausted all conversation options with the village idiot Shall you take your reward in gold? Yes, pl– Or experience points? I, what? For riches are easily spent But wisdom is forever The path of the prosperous often…
‘I want this one!’ Esmé says. ‘This one, daddy. I want the ginny.’ ‘Kid, we are not getting a genie.’ ‘But I WANT it!’ she pouts and stomps her little feet. ‘Look, genies are a hassle. Here, look at this puppy instead – isn’t he cute? Or that tabby kitten we just passed, you…
“What the purple-bearded FUCK is that?” asked the Witch. “A dragonflight,” said the girl. “Yes, I can see that. Why, Hortense, is there a goddess-damned saddled dragon on my fucking lawn?” “You asked for it,” explained Hortense, but her confidence was fading by the second. “You asked for it?” she tried. “I most definitely did…
Heya, CassCrew! This ya girl Cass, here to welcome you back to the Cassie P channel and my vlog for day 318. Everything is cool aboard the station. We had a bit of a scare this morning when the oxy scrubbers janked up for TEN. WHOLE. MINUTES. Mum was like “oh my god, this can…
The old toad had stolen the crown again. He sat on a rock by the moat-fed pond and called to any and all young women who happened to pass by. Pretending to be a frog – nay, a frog prince – just so he could get a kiss. The lecherous old bastard. It was the…
Don’t you dare say it, boy! Don’t. You. Dare. [I already did.] It’s about the Mason’s art and nothing else Erect as in raise a building up “How much do you measure, erect?” For shame, boy. [He shakes his head at me. Haha, shakes his head.] For shame. Those words are sacred Handed down from…
“Beg fockers, they were. Beg as a huys!” The rugged sailor shook his tankard for emphasis, spilling more than a few drops of his brew. His dialect had been difficult enough to understand while sober. Now, with him near three sheets to the wind and myself a fair one-and-a-half, I had to struggle to keep…
‘One’, Katie counted as she went around the stone circle. ‘Two… Threeee.’ She had given each of the stones a number, and as she passed them…