Scratchy (Notevember 2023, #22)

If I were a were-cat, if that’s what I were
I’d wake up each full moon all covered with fur
I’d eat, then I’d sleep ‘til the moon went away
And then I’d keep sleeping for most of the day

If I were a were-cat, a cat for a night
With sharp killer instinct and no one to fight
Our rat-free apartment with nothing to catch
You’d kill me if I gave the sofa a scratch!

If I were a were-wolf, now that’d be worse
But being a were-cat? Not much of a curse
You’d love me and feed me, just like you do now
I’d purr and say “thanks”, though it would sound like “meow”

If I were a were-cat, I’d be spoilt for choice
To play with my tail, or my food, or my toys
I’d groom myself, then vomit hairballs and such…
I think I’ll stay human, thank you very much.