Demon (Notevember 2023, #17)

By Jonathan R

Let’s get a move on, Liz.

Can’t move.

What? Why not?

I am a leaf.

No, you’re not.

I am a LEAF.

You’re not a… Look, I’m going to poke you. There, see? You’re squishy.

I am a–

Don’t say it.

– squishy leaf.

Oh for fu– Aleafsayswhat?

What?

NOTHING! A leaf says nothing.

Sometimes leaves say swoosh.

No, the wind goes swoosh.

The leaves help.

How are they helping? They’re just sitting there.

Like I am sitting here. Like a leaf. Which I am.

Oh really? What plant are you attached to?

I’m not. I am a dead leaf. No point eating me. Waste of time.

I see. And as a dead leaf, you have no need for nutrition, right?

Correct. For I do nothing. Except decompose.

So if I were to put this particularly crunchy, juicy cricket here, that would be of no interest to you.

…

Would it?

I am not a leaf…

That’s what I thought.

…I am a carnivorous plant.

I knew I should have gotten a puppy…