Bad Dog (Notevember 2022, #21)

You may want to read this one first, for context.

“HAHAHAHAHA!” Cerberus roared with laughter, as did the rest of the gang. “Join us? You? Good one, buddy. Now scram.”
The wannabe did not move an inch. He just kept staring at the big dog with his beady eyes.
“What, you deaf as well as mute? I said beat it. You were stupid enough to walk in here strapped, but you made me laugh, so I’mma let that slide. But you better go now, before I decide I want something other than a bone to crunch on.”
Still, the newcomer stayed. Cerberus looked around at his pack, none of whom seemed any wiser. Some tilted their heads quizzically, while others shrugged. This was on the alpha to settle.
“Get this: The Bad Dogs don’t allow just anyone to join our ranks. You gotta be a fighter, a thug, a mean-ass mutt, you get me? So maybe you look hard enough, sure, but buddy… you’re not even a dog!”
The not-even-a-dog pulled two items out of his pack, laying them down in front of the gang leader. One was a fish, the other a note.
“What’s this?” asked Cerberus. He sniffed the fish – a day short of fresh, that was for sure. Then he reached for the note. It had spiky, almost illegible handwriting on it, but the hound still managed to decipher it. He read it out loud.
“I robbed a cat.” Cerberus looked at the note, then down at the strange animal in front of him. “You robbed… a cat? How? Where?” All he got in response was a gesture, which he took to mean he should flip the paper over. Apparently, the note had been scribbled on the back of a flyer advertising the dockside bait shop.
Again, the gang leader turned to his members, none of whom were laughing now. They were just nodding slowly.
“Well, my man. You stink of seawater, and you for sure have more cojones than is strictly safe for your health. But what the hell… you’re in! Trial run only, though.”
The other dogs howled in celebration.
“But we can’t have you run with us while carrying a crabby-ass name. You go from crustacean company to canine crew, you need something that fits.”
The crab lifted his claw and waved it about silently in front of his eyestalks.
“I got it!” exclaimed Cerberus. “Welcome to the Bad Dogs… Pinscher.”