Collide (Notevember 2021, #17)

I haven’t learned just when to shut my trap
This one was earned and I made someone snap
I think I’m falling, I think it’s a wrap
They will be calling it a “cosmic slap”

“Celestial body” was a compliment
I wasn’t naughty, I had good intent
They thought I meant something I never meant
And that’s what started this whole incident

Call it a bad cliché, or call it sleaze
Call it a failed attempt, and too much cheese
Let me your scorn preempt, your anger cease:
What was implied was “hot”, and not “obese”

Not that I thought that I could make her swoon
Just hoped we’d grab a gin and tonic soon
Instead, a jab, sharp like a sonic boom
Sent me across half of the living room

But fair is fair: we weren’t introduced
And I’m aware I must’ve smelled of booze
She wasn’t scared, but she was not amused
And I was worse for wear, and missed the clues

So here I am, knocked down and seeing stars
I hear “Goddamn, she knocked him on his arse”
She looks like Venus, but she fights like Mars
And that’s the ending of this drunken farce

Except, my orbital and cheek bone cracked,
She took some pity on me and, in fact,
When I apologized with care and tact
She said “How ‘bout we try a second act?”

And this one’s better, now it’s a romance
I write her letters, we go out to dance
You couldn’t plan it, it was happenstance
Our worlds collided: cheek and hefty hands