21 – Reward

O great and mighty warrior!
You who have bested the beast
Slain the serpent
Beheaded the behemoth
And exhausted all conversation options with the village idiot
Shall you take your reward in gold?

Yes, pl–

Or experience points?

I, what?

For riches are easily spent
But wisdom is forever
The path of the prosperous often cut short
By greed or greater forces
Whereas the wise man wanders
Safe and sound
For his treasure is sealed away
Beyond greater grates than iron bars
And in deeper dark than underground
It cannot be stolen
And so tempts no evildoer to misdeed

Sure, great, but it’s cash I need.

Take heed now, and take not lightly
The merits of stats, for they make ye mighty
Like, maybe, strength that’s over ninety
Goes well with that sword?
A truly great reward!
Or why not increase intelligence?

Are you saying I’m stupid?

Oh, no, your excellence!
Just that a couple million pence
Might make for decent recompense –
But won’t improve your common sense

I’ve ample mental ability.

Then why not your agility?

Listen, asshole, I’m just twenty.
I’m spry and dexterous, I’ve got plenty.

Health points?

No thanks.

Magic?

Nope.

Spirit?

Do I look like the fucking Pope?

You just want the gold, I reckon?

Thanks, old man.
Hey, wait a second!
This is not what we agreed.

Sure it is – less local fees.

Fees? Now, listen, and be warned:
Only one of us is armed
So don’t spin some shit about village tax.
Or I’ll spin your head off with my axe.
I’ll take your head, I’ll take your gold.

See? It’s just like you’ve been told.
Had I chosen experience instead of cash
I could have survived your hack and slash
So take my gold without a fight
But don’t pretend I wasn’t right!